Girls

Unfortunately one of the seemingly innate qualities of being a girl is being bitchy. The classic example is boys vs. girls classic schoolyard bullying. A little boy [Mark] will go up to another little boy [Johnny] and go "Hey, Johnny, I'm going to punch you because you said mean things about my sister!" and the punch will follow. Most likely, after maybe a parent-principal-student meeting, there will be no more hard feelings about what Johnny said about Mark's sister (however there may ensue some other type of unrelated hard feeling).

However, a little girl [Cassandra] will spend weeks, maybe even months, dwelling on a statement someone has said. It will go around and around in her head, maybe not for very long, until what Mary said has been suitably deformed and warped into something that Cassandra thinks is mean. Cassandra will then go and tell every other girl in her class, until Mary is either 1) forced to deal with the consequences of saying a truly mean thing or 2) persecuted for having her words munched into something she didn't entirely mean. Months. Years maybe.

Why is this? What possible genetic or evolutionary reasoning could there be for girls to be so fake, and so useless when it comes to confrontation? Your average girl, or woman, will probably say to you "No, I'm not one of those bitchy types. I can't stand those girls!". But unfortunately, given the 'right' situation, most girls will turn bitchy. I know that I have been bitchy in the past, despite my best efforts to try and keep myself bitchiness and pissiness free. It's innate.

And the gossip. I can't stand the gossip. He said, she said. Who cares? Do I need to know? Do I need this fact, that Chloe slept with her boyfriend Jake's sister Felicity on the weekend? Is that essential to my survival? No. So don't freaking tell me!

I think most of it stems from wanting to be seen as someone you're not. Wanting to be seen as nice when you're a bitch, wanting to be seen as rich when you're not, wanting to be seen as desired by men when you're not, wanting to be seen as a loyal friend when you're not. The reality is, if all girls just were themselves (including me) everything would be a lot easier.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to all my girl friends who have never shown their bitchy side to me - I do appreciate this, and I respect you more for it. I also hope that I haven't shown my bitchy side to you.

Also, thanks to all my guy friends, for not being girls.

xxx