A 'particularly random' poem

I sent this to Adrian via email with no explanation bar that I wanted to know how good (or not good) it was. He replied with:

"That is particularly random."

I realised that I hadn't given a source of inspiration, and that without such a source it may be slightly difficult to make any kind of connection. Anyways, I'm not used to writing poems from someone else's point of view, so I gave it a try. I decided that it's much more difficult opening my dissection of someone else's thoughts up for criticism, than it is my own thoughts.

O, before I forget, it was inspired by a book I'm reading called "Forgotten Voices" about the Battle of Britain.

Here we stand inside the mess
a hundred others all around
and I say goodbye to you, my love:
See you back on solid ground

But the truth is all around, my love
Friends' sweethearts won't return
It's just you and me and them
and I am filled up with concern

Your anxious eyes, they dart between
my lips, my eyes, my hair
I don't know what's in your mind, my love
is it nervousness and fear?

Is it excitement or anger, my love?
is there something I can do?
Can I steal your mind and run,
my love, run away with you?

But o, your ship is leaving
and my breath has left me now
there's nothing I can do, my love
but stare after the bow

Four months you were away, my love
four months that went so slow
four months to pray that you were safe
four months, I can't have known

How could you have survived, my love?
I'm not sure I understand
Your friends were lost from 'neath you
weeping, bloody in your hands

So now you're home with me, my love
I thought my dreams were true
but o, what happened to your heart?
What did they do to you?

You do your best, my love, I know
but there's something I can't mend
a thousand sights of hurt and pain
your torture will ne'er end

So I stay beside you now, my love
your body scarred and sore
Will I ever get you back my love,
from this never-ending war?